I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
