I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
