Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
