so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
