Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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