In the future we'll all be gay
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
