OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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