Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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