i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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