It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it hurts more in the daytime
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
