Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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