Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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