yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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