Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
