if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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