what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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