He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize