they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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