Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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