I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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