He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize