if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sorry my hands just texted you
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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