Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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