dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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