You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
