How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
