I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize