3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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