what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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