when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
two words...techno handjob
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
