a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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