It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
