I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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