apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
