some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
