Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
