I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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