I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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