whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yo dont text me then not text me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
