Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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