it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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