ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
