she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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