I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have fence marks all over my body
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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