She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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