Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
