just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Randomize
