Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize