I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
