I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
