apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
