he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize