but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
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Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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