I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
