turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
