He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
