We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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