It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there is glitter all over my balls
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
