My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
