Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
