Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like eating out sand paper
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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