And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
