So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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