Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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