Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
