She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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