she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
