I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
