I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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