6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
