i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
