so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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