i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
